Oh Michelle.

I wasn't really expecting it, but I gave her a hug...slowly walked back to my car with tears slowly running down my face. I got in the car and just sort of laughed to myself. She would sneak her way into my heart. All night she just kept saying "This is our last night together" and "I'm really going to miss you." But I have done this before. I have said goodbye to lots of people, many, many times. But leaving Michelle somehow feels like I'm doing a bad thing. If you don't know for the past year or so, when I was home I would hangout with a girl named Michelle, Michelle Alder. She has worked at Great Harvest on Fridays since before I can remember. She came walked her coat and purse into the bag, walked back to the front washed her hands, and helped us bag bread. We have a system. She puts the bread into the bags, and I close it up. For a long long time she didn't say much- if anything. Then slowly she began to trust me more. But still very little. Somehow Chuck always got her to talk to him :) Must be something about how hot and black he is. When we started hanging out, she still wouldn't say much. I'd have to drag any opinion out of her. We would go to the mall, or out to dinner. We would eat, I would ask questions, and she would say "I don't know". And then we would eat silently some more. Slowly she became more vocal. Telling me no, when I'd suggest a restaurant or an activity. Soon I just learned to let Michelle decide. Every time I would ask "What do you want to do this Saturday Michelle?" She would respond with " I don't know, what do you want to do?" I learned to say right back "I don't know, you decide." Because then she did. I could soon predict the restaurant would be somewhere that offered hamburgers.  I could soon predict she would start being "tired" (my cue to leave) by 8 or 9 at the latest. But I was often surprised too, one time she suggested hot tubing. My favorite was playing High School Musical Dance Party on the Wii. We both got B's every time. Who know why that game is so hard. haha
Then we had our weekends together, where we were together but separate. She would suggest we make our own thing for dinner. Or I watch a movie in my room. But the moments we weren't together in the same room, was when I learned the most about Michelle. I hung back downstairs one morning after breakfast, and I soon hear music Blasting upstairs. I slowly walk up the back stairwell, to see what was going on- and I see Michelle rocking out in her room. Full blown singing and dancing. I stayed on those stairs for a good 10 minutes. Enjoying the moment of seeing Michelle, just be Michelle.
Even with all the grumpy goodbyes, the silent meals, the calling then hanging up as soon as I answer, or the telling me she is "busy" when her mother has already told me she is not.
Even with all that, Me and Michelle still had a lot of laughs.
And I hate that I'm yet another person in her life, that is moving on and leaving her. She understands more than I would ever imagine. I just hope she knows that I really do love her, and that we really are friends.
I'll miss you Michelle.

xoxo Martha Mae.

p.s. And even after all this time, I never got a photo of us. Fail Martha. Fail.

p.p.s Got one!