BYU, Bailey's, and Budgets

So in case you haven't heard, I was accepted to BYU-Provo on Friday night. I sent my cousin Dylan the first text, and he was so excited. I really just can't wait to live next to so much family, and have that whole place to go to for Sunday dinners. I also just love my Aunt Kathryn and my Dyl so much. Can't wait.
And to celebrate my acceptance Jen Bailey is taking me out on a girl Date- and I'm so excited. Love this family. I also had a Bridger Bailey date this weekend, the Baileys called me up- and like the nice naive people they are said "We know you probably have a date for Friday night, but if you don't want to babysit?" And obviously I would probably choose Bridge over a date anyways, but I said yes. So I got all dressed up, (meaning I took off my work shirt and put on a slightly nicer one) and headed over. Bridge was all dressed, quite handsomely, and we had a perfect evening. Full of crashing hot wheels cars, and a few "Uh excuse me, Martha"s. Afterwards Jen and I stood outside his room talking, mostly about him, but also about Scott, and hers relationship. I have always loved their relationship ( and yes I realize this is a freaky thing I do- of falling in love with peoples relationships). But I do, and even more so now. They are currently budgeting themselves. They looked over last years expense's and realized they were kind of out of control. haha Which I believe pregnant Jen is very funny, and quite irrational. Then she told me how Scott loves buying her and Bridger things, and how with this new budget he has started trying to sell Jen things. For example he will bring home a box of chocolates he got from some work thing, and sell it to Jen for five dollars, just so he can then purchase Bridger a Thomas Movie, he has been wanting. Or he will hide the final tax return amount from Jen, and surprise her with a new Kitchen Pan set. Because its "Money she never even saw." Jen says she is always trying to limit his gifts for her, but its his favorite thing to do (buy gifts for his wife). How can you argue with that. So long story short, I want to A. start budgeting my money, because if I can't even figure out how to somewhat support myself now. How will I ever support/ manage expenses for a family. And B. I want to marry someone who loves me as much as Scott loves Jen, Bridge, and soon to be Matthew (can't wait- he is coming any day now)!

with love.
Martha

He has a Plan.

I did know this. I've always know this. But sometimes, like today I am reminded that My Heavenly Father has a very specific plan. Yes we can choose our path in life, but Heavenly Father is all seeing and all knowing. So he already knows, and if we ask him he will lead us down the right path. I'm home. I've been home for 7 months now, and I get a lot of. When are you going back to school? Or even scarier now, whats your plan now that you're not doing school? Which I am by the way, just to set the record straight.
But its all worth it, because I know I'm supposed to be home this semester, and although I didn't know 100% why when I decided not to, I now do.
Tonight has been oddly wet and tearful night. I honestly rarely cry for myself, what I should say is- I rarely cry because of things directly related to me. But thing after thing tonight has made by eyes water up and become more puffier than the hour before. Don't worry I'm fine, really. Like one thing that made me cry was reading the Rising Star Newsletter. In the Newsletter is had the Rising Star Anthem in it. And just reading it, flooded me with the memory of the children singing it so proudly.
So I thought I would share it with you all here. So you can read it, and picture these precious little Indian children singing it.

"I'm a Rising Star"
by: Shaun Parry
I'm free to be all I can be.
I love life and I love being me.
I can choose to let my light shine.
The World is waiting?
Whose turn is it? Mine!

I will live like the sun sharing light.
I will shine in the darkest of night.
I will laugh, and learn, and through
any strife,
Live a long, happy, healthy, and loving life.

I'm a rising, rising star.
I'm a rising, rising star.
Spread the word near and far.
I'm a rising star.

Let the world know who we are.
We are rising Stars.

I then went to the Rising Star website, and saw they have a direct link to my blog. So that was humbling, and oh so sweet of them. So I started to read my journey there...to see how many errors I really have in the blog. But I was overcome with emotions from my trip, and forgot all about my horrid spelling and incomplete, and probably incomprehensible sentences.

So anyways I just wanted to say how grateful I am, that Heavenly Father has a plan. I know his is a lot better than mine would be. So Lead me, guide me, walk beside me.

xoxo Martha

p.s. I love this song, and although i think the actual sucking out the hearts part is kind of freaky- the dancing is awesome. And the woman who choreographed it, was just at Rising Star a few weeks ago. And thus she is the coolest choreographer on SYTYCD!