Mood swing

Somedays I think in blogs, I think "hey I should blog about this." or " I would feel better after blogging this out" or "I have new pictures and I'd really like people to tell me they think they are awesome, because I don't really love them." or even " I'm bored why don't I blog something."

Today was one of those days. So as I thought in blogs today I thought I would throw together one for you/ mainly for me.
Well it was a crazy day, not for anyone else I don't think, but for me is was a world wind or emotion. So false this kind of started last night. I got off the bus, with mixed feelings of being excited to be home, and yet missing the vacation I had just come from. I came inside, and life was the same. I don't really know how to describe how I felt without sounding like an egocentric b. But I kind of felt like the only thing my roommates were excited to see was my keys. And really why should they be excited to see me. A. it was only like 4 days, and B. we're not best friends or anything.
Anyways once I got to my room, I has a sudden rush of things I had to get done. I was overwhelmed, tired, and had super hairy legs. :)
So I quickly found my tooth paste, and brushed my teeth. Changed the time of my alarm to 7am. And went to bed.
I woke up, in a panic at 7:50. I don't know how my body does it, but it always seems to wake me up in just enough time to get me wherever I'm going totally stressed out.
Photography starts at 8, and I wasn't going to be late, again. So I put on some new clothes, grabbed my computer, memory card, and an apple and ran out the door. Literally. Got there at 8:07.
Then I proceeded to wait another 40 minutes for a computer to open up.
I sat and pondered all the things I could have done in that 40 minutes, shower, eat, shave my legs!!! But I finally got my photos printed. And as usual I have one I like, and one he likes. Neither are anything special. Which brought me to my next stressful thought. I can't be a photographer, as a profession. Yes this is a regular recurring thought. And one I never had when thinking about becoming a Teacher, it was never a question of if I could do it, but more if I wanted to. Which I'm still pretty positive the answer is still no. So what is better? To work towards something I can't do, or to work towards something I don't want to do?
Who knows. NOT me.

So after that I ran home, with no time left to shower before the rest of my dad, so I quickly did some math homework. Hoping I was somewhat caught up at least in that class. But no. I get to class and I'm a whole section behind everyone. and although this is for sure not the first time this has happened. I became more stressed. Of course then the girl next to me proceeded to tell me we only have one more week of real school. Which sent me into a tiny panic attack. Not sure why. I don't have any huge projects, or presentations. But things ending always stresses me out.
Then after math I went to Art History, where my teacher tested us on new names of the Art pieces I had been studying hours prior. So I'm 90 percent sure I got a 60 percent on that test.
I tried to calm myself down, reminding myself I had finished the test and that it didn't matter anymore. But I couldn't, I took deep breathes, began reading my book, and sat on the curb to wait for Kayla.
She could tell I was stressed, but suggested Olive Garden.
Which sounded wonderful, except my other stress. Money. Pretty much thats all I have to say on the subject. As well as I hate not having any of it. And feeling like a horrible friend/ person/ daughter.

But that brings me to the mood swing part. I decided that showering was the best thing to start with, so I did. And I felt at least 99% better as soon as I did.

So Lesson learned, Martha needs daily showers. (and to actually turn on her alarm).

Kayla did my hair, very cute I might add, and then we went to olive garden, and to Winco. So I'm all better now.
Glad thing I don't get stressed often. I'm not very good at dealing with it.

Goals:
Make more money, and never go so long without a job.
Find more music, I always just let people give me music. But I like cutesy music. So I should just find the stuff I like, and listen to it.
Organize all my photos. Don't break another computer by over filling it.
Look into other careers. While trying harder at photography.
Get cuter clothes
and work out so I look cute, in those clothes.
Eat better.
Read my scriptures.

The End. xoxo MD.



Just because I can't have a post with just words. And none of my mediocre photos would load!!!! plus he is so hot :) and Just had a Birthday.

Long week.

So this semester feels like it has just started, and at the same time I already feel completely overwhelmed. Not only am I not confident about my major, but the classes for my major (that I might change) are killing me. Also I'm not sure if you all know what I learn is, but its pretty much the only source of communication between teacher and student. And my children's lit class doesn't allow me to access the I-learn, I have called several people talked to my teacher everyday in class, and its still not solved. So I have missed two assignments, and finally just got a friend to email me the syllabus. But really world?! why hate on me so much.
Also my mom is afraid I'm becoming ever so slightly depressed, and in case you have never met me. I don't do depressed. Angry occasionally, sad eh ever so often. But can't say depressed. But my mom was saying I was showing symptoms and talked to me for like 3 hours to make sure I felt loved. and I do. But its weird and I don't know whats up, Kevin also thinks I have been extra witchy lately. And nope its not that time of the month. haha Also I want you all to know, I felt like a dork taking this picture, but I just love my fun glasses, and wanted to share.